At what age are you supposed to like really have shit figured out? I mean financially, spiritually, emotionally, all that good jazz. I'm 27 and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I do Not have it even close to together. I live in a big beautiful home with my fiance, drive a brand new car, go to school 5 days a week and work full time. I'm living the American Dream right? I used to think that success was based on what you had acquired in life, and how close you were to having the "Things" that every red blooded american adult wants, but now i'm not so sure. On the outside people think that my life is picture perfect, that i have everything I could ever need or want, but lets just get real for a second here. That big beautiful home is in my fiances name, and although I was the one who found it and was there every step of the way during the purchase process, the reality is that I didnt put a dime down on it. and if i left now I would have no legal right to it at all. The brand new car i'm driving is a lease, My full time job that i've been working for the last 8 years only pays me $14.46 an hour which is pennies when your spouse makes twice your monthly income in a two week period. So as you can see, I do not have it together. I was thinking last night about how numb I feel, not excited about life, or anything else. I rarely go out or even venture out to new places in my own city. I envy the women who have great bodies, and designer clothes. The ones always traveling or sipping lattes at some swanky bistro or cafe in the city, while I sit at home 255 pounds having chorizo and egg tacos for breakfast, flipping through Instagram and trying to figure out what pair of pants im going to try to squeeze into today. I have made up my mind though. It is time to take my life back. I cant sit on the couch and complain about how unhappy I am but never do anything to change it. I want to be the hot fiance who dresses well, who is educated and elegant and wakes up everyday with intention and happiness in her heart. I figured the best way to make an extreme lifestyle change was to make a monthly list, every month a few things that I want to change or improve. They always say small steps work the best right? So this month September 2015 will be the beginning of the emancipation of Barbara. I am taking responsibility for my laziness and finally doing something to make me happy in the end.
1. Get my ass off the couch and walk for 30 minutes at least 5 days a week.
2. Stop drinking and buying Starbucks (bitch you dont have any money as it is)
3. Take better care of my skin (stop being lazy about removing makeup and caring for my skin)
4. Do great in school! get an A on my first quizzes!!
I know this is going to be a long and tumultuous journey and im sure somewhere along the way I will want to give up but I cant and wont do it! the future begins now and I will not be the 50 year old woman in the nursing home because she never took care of herself anf thought that a burger and cheese fries was a better use of time and money than a gym membership! pray for me yall
